A year ago today we spoke not of homophobes masquerading as bureaucrats, projecting their personal perversions upon decent folk simply longing to pee in peace.
A year ago today we knew not of divisive poseur tyrants-in waiting, whipping up a delusional privileged few into a bully storm of intolerance, vomiting notions of “building walls” instead of tearing them down.
A year ago today we weren’t yet grieving forty-nine families grieving.
No, a year ago today we touched victory. And love. And peace. Even if only for a spell. A year ago today we flooded the streets in celebration of the revelation that for the first time in American history, most ALL people were finally freed the privilege of plunging heart-first into the marital mistake.
A respite, a ruddy hint of what “We The People” are truly capable of, a year ago today was a very good day indeed.
365 days of fun and fuckery, of love and hate, of life and death. Of things going terribly and irreparably wrong, of putting my best foot forward (without always knowing why or what for), and of things finally starting to look up.
365 days in which I was unable to share any of it with you. Being unable to ask you for advice (that I wouldn’t have taken anyway) or support (which I would’ve). I was unable, because even though you were “there” the whole while, you are still gone.
When I was a child, I remember occasionally have night frights that would awaken me, rigid with fear. I would then creep into my parents room, edging my way up to the corner of their bed, while looking intently at my dad’s chest. I would do so until I could confirm that it was rising and lowering with breath, and only then, would I be able to shake the fright and return to my bed.
A little over a week ago, I was reminded of this as I found myself doing very much the same. I stared intently at dad’s chest. This time not so much to confirm that he was breathing, but rather, because I knew it would only be a matter of time until he was not.
My dad was almost there. Almost home. And now he’s gone. His was a very small and private service, but he is…
Yesterday, I saw a new icon on my notification tab. Well; I thought it was a new icon at any rate. Clicking on it, I realized that I actually had seen it before, exactly one-year prior in fact, as the following popped into existence…
That’s right. As of the 27th of May, this lil blog of mine is now two years old. And to celebrate, I got it nothing.
Abso-freakin’-lutely nothing.
No special posts written, no photos taken, no quotes retrieved. No reviews readied, nor songs chosen. Nothing. Hell, I didn’t even realize that its anniversary was coming due.
What kind of ass am I?
I mean, over the past two years, “As Long As…” has allowed me to share with you my father’s passing, my children’s growth, the struggles I’ve had with my faith, the recent and unexpected death of my 17 year marriage, the oft time battles I’ve had with depression, and of course the efforts that have stock-piled, resulting from my dreams of one day becoming a pretend writer of some sort.
Starting with just one follower – my bestest friend ever whom I’ve never met – this kid has grown slowly to a little over 230 more of you since. And I am as grateful to you all, as I am questioning of your literary taste… More importantly though, since its inception “As Long As…” has provided me with peace and solace during my dark hours. A place to scream, bitch, bemoan, play and flex my mental muscles and – to my albeit grateful surprise – it has brought me strong friendships that have only grown, as the challenges of life have become harder, though eventually overcome. In short, this blog has given me more than a lot of living, breathing people I know have.
And I didn’t even realize that its anniversary was coming due.
What kind of ass am I?
Hey you, As Long As I’m Singing, thank you my friend. I appreciate it… all of it.
As I noted previously, I didn’t have an applicable quote, nor a song chosen for this event. You know, in part because I totally forgot that this event was even to be an event. But I figured the following two will work well enough. The quote, simply because it’s about the truest thing I’ve ever read, and something I am coming to believe. And the song because, as you are an apple that fell pretty close to its somewhat creative tree, I feel it’s a good choice to describe how I feel about us both.
Happy 2nd, As Long As I’m Singing. Here’s to year 3 =)
“Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence.
Talent will not. There is nothing more common then unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not. Unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not. The world if full of educated derelicts. Persistence and Determination alone are Omnipotent.”
~ Joe Strummer
A strange thing happened a week ago yesterday. A strange thing that I could not address at the time, due to the other very strange thing that also quite suddenly occurred. But had that other very strange thing not occurred, I would have told you a week ago yesterday that my blog turned one.
It’s strange for two reasons. First and foremost, at only one year of age, my lil blog is already fully potty-trained. Secondly, after one year, I still love it. And I find myself oddly proud that it exists. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, I know it’ll just end up being one more blip, amongst a sea of blips. But this is my blip, and I made it.
Along the way, you good people have found my lil blog and – apparently gluttons for punishment, the whole lot of ya – you keep coming back. As a result, I’ve enjoyed watching my stats bar grow from the desolate plain it started out as, to the vibrant cityscape that I now see before me. Again, it may sound stupid, but this too makes me proud.
Now, while I don’t expect you to tap all of these, I thought what I would do is go through the year, and hand pick my favorite post for each month (in certain instances I could only narrow it down to two – deal!) It was a fun exercise, AND it was the very first time in my creative life where I was able to look back without seeing imaginary imperfections that drove me to simply tear up and discard my previous efforts.
Ready?
We’ll start of course, at the beginning. But before we do, I just need to tell you, this singular post – this one right here – has been one of my most read posts ever. EVA. I swear, almost every day since it was published, it shows up on the “Top Posts” section on my dashboard. Why is it so popular? I’ve no idea. If you happen to figure it out, tell me. I’d like to incorporate whatever it is into ALL my posts.
4/2 – The Uninspired Chronicles Conversation, 4/11 – I will Refuse…
5/31 – In Memorium (the shortest, and to date, hardest I’ve had to write thus far)
Now, before I let you go, I did want to thank you. For reals. It’s your reading that makes my writing possible. It’s your acceptance – your “tribe” – that keeps me here and happy. I’m blessed to be amongst such a creative crew, and inspired to become a better writer every time I read your blogs (OK, well, not exactly every time – but they can’t all be zingers now, can they?)
So feel free to dip into any of the above, and in the meantime, let’s get our weekend started out right. BD?
as long as i'm singing 