Many Happy Returns


Could you spare me a few minutes, Time?

Spare you? Now why would I want to spare you?

Well, you see, with work, family and school obligations all crushing in upon me, this last week makes me feel as if I’ll never catch up. I’m collapsing under the weight of obligation.

So, you bit off more than you could chew, and this is somehow my fault?

Well, no. It’s just that I was hoping your could find it within your benevolence to help me out.

Ah. I see. Therein lies the problem. I am Time. I have no “benevolent” component. I only stroll through history as I see fit, in my own good fashion and cadence. No, much like your wife, I simply am what I am, and you either come to accept me, or not. The outcome matters not at all to me. Why don’t you see if Obligation will be willing to “lighten the load” a bit?

I did. He won’t. In fact, it was he who told me to come and talk with you.

Ha! He always was such a prick, that one. I suppose he got your hopes up as well?


Of course he did. He always does. Listen, the only way that you can get out from under this is to simply do the work that needs to be done. Stop complaining and simply achieve, task by task, until you’re all caught up.

But, these things I need to do are more important than mere “tasks.” The things I need to complete need to be done so correctly, versus simply done.

Again, not my problem. I can tell you one thing, you’ve wasted quite a bit more than the “few minutes” you originally asked me for, simply during this conversation. If I were you, I would re-prioritize yourself, as you’re only currently falling even farther behind while wasting your time looking for a way out.

So no help?


Thanks for nothing.

You are very welcome indeed. If I give you an extra minute, you’ll want an extra hour. If I gave you even a few seconds more, you’d want additional minutes. You have the time you have – nothing more, nothing less – and just like all the rest, it’s up to you to make the best of it.

Now, move.

18 thoughts on “Many Happy Returns

  1. i am so in love with this, t. i’m going to print this out and put it on my wall o’ things to frequently re-read, right next to ‘i refuse to go to my grave with my song unsung’. very cleverly done, it was like eavesdropping on a conversation, with a little laugh in the middle when you threw your wife in there ;)

    • Thank you – I’m glad I was able to provide you with additional fridge fodder (that really is the best wall to throw your “frequently re-read” stuff upon!)

  2. I just wanted to “like” your post and run off into the day. I have things to do you know… but the button would not allow it, so here I am spending time writing back to tell you that I like this, I mean I really like this… but why did the button thwart me? ;-)

    Always inspiring t~

  3. You know when I think of magic lamps and 3 wishes, one of them is always for the ability to stop time. JUST STOP IT, for however long I want…so that I can breathe or sit or think. My therapist finds this interesting…that I always wish for more wishes and I always wish to STOP time.

    I get it t, oh how I get it.

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