If.

If I had to do it all over again…

I would’ve been a female.

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I mean, and not to sound too jaded or anything, but as I troll along Blogsville’s well-lit streets, it does seem to me that it is the female of the species who garners greater attention overall.

I would have also stuck with more fiction. I understand that the idea behind this thing was to work through some issues in the first; but in retrospect that didn’t provide very much for the average reader to come running back for, now did it?

I would have figured out a way to disable my stats bar.

I would have publicized myself as well (just how in the hell I would’ve accomplished that in an anonymous fashion, I’ve no idea, but I’m sure I could’ve come up with something). I would have plugged my site, made sure that it was at least known about within my circles.

And finally, I would’ve left Jesus out of it. I can’t help but feel as if He’s rather upset with the idea that I spend a portion of my time telling you that He’s giving out (((hugs))), while I dawdle about the remaining posts, throwing f-bombs out and sulking in a general state of oft times unwarranted pissery.

If I had to do it all over again, I would start totally anew. In a new place, with a new name and a new focus. Simply to entertain, nothing more. I wouldn’t put my heart out so much so. I wouldn’t expect that anyone – busy with their own lives and concerns – would ever need to know of mine. I wouldn’t be so “me.” And hopefully, the resulting output would be better.

If I had to do it all over again… I just might.


Here’s a link, should you prefer to forgo the “live experience,” and simply listen to the prerecorded version instead.

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32 thoughts on “If.

  1. Run the experiment…set up a a new word press, call yourself Linda, complain on a 28 day cycle and see if that helps ;) (Too easy!) If you had of done it differently, you would have missed all this…and this has been a worthwhile journey…write on…about whatever the heck you feel like. My favorite blogs are the one that bring themselves…male,female, high,low…as long as you can make me believe your bringing YOU…I’m happy. And your soundtrack is always fantastic. HUGE bonus points ;)

  2. I wonder if everyone doesn’t go through this same phase and ask themselves the same questions. I certainly have. I’ve considered a new, anonymous blog, and yes, I think not looking at stats is a good idea. You’re among friends with no expectations, at least none from me. Write what you want and I’ll look forward to reading it.

  3. I don’t agree, I come back to read about YOU…what you think, how YOU feel, How YOU write. I like that Jesus gives out hugs and that you use the f bomb (because I do too), I like that sometimes it’s fiction and sometimes it’s not..and I enjoy just reading the things you want to share.
    I’ll follow you wherever you go, I’ll read whatever you write, I’ll always be glad I found you here in this BIG BAD internet…just sayin.

    oh and I’m glad you’re a guy, we need more of you to write like you do.

    ((HUGS))

  4. You can have some of the attention I have gotten of late. I love your blog and I visit each time you post. I would rather have a few thoughtful visitors that interact that a boat load of traffic that lurks..lol ;)

  5. I keep coming back, because I’m interested in you, your world, and your views. I Like the music, the f bombs and the Jesus stuff (despite/ because of not being religious). Anyway, it’s the ‘you’ that I learn from.
    Give ‘Linda’ the fictional fiction writer a go in case you enjoy it, but don’t go away on us. Aty least let us follow ‘Linda’ too :)

    • Oh, no worries about me going away – and I just might give the fictional girl a go, but I’m far too much of a Diva to ever settle simply for a “Linda.” No, something like Marsha LaLein Huttleford Plushbottom is much more likely…

  6. OMG t it is YOU that I love about your blog. It has brought me right back to center countless times! I never once thought you left JC out. He is always with us…sometimes up front and personal and sometimes blending in to the background. It is impossible to leave JC out! But with all that said…what would you do if you knew you wouldn’t fail….then just do it!

    • You’re the best Lotta! Your being “centered by me” has centered myself on more than one occasion. I’m glad that I can help, and thrilled that you help in return!

  7. I actually like that you are a male. There aren’t many male bloggers that I have found that are really interesting. Maybe their interests are different but I love that you write about living life. That’s something we all do. Oh, yes, we have all felt like this. There are posts that I would love to write but it will hurt someone’s feelings so I don’t. My fantasy is to have an anonymous blog to write those posts but then it seems like too much trouble for the three posts a year that I can’t put on my own blog.

  8. Interesting. I’ve done both, as you know – personal stuff and fiction stuff, public stuff and anonymous stuff. I think our blogs reflect who we are (whether we like it or not) and so they change along with us. I don’t know if you need to start a new blog to make the change (I mean, aside from the gender thing *snort*), but if you do, let us know where you go!

    • Thanks Desi, and if nothing else, I feel as if it’s the embarrassment over the “or not” stuff that would have me starting a new blog. After a year living here, it never dawned on me that I’m not really anonymous after all. Though you wouldn’t recognize me on the street, you all know me better than some people involved in my every day life.

  9. I agree to an extent t. To an extent. I’m a woman. I’m out there for all to see and flying by the seat of my pants. I have an author page on FB to publicize my blog. I read and write tirelessly. Okay, not that tirelessly. There comes a point where I have to disconnect or I’ll go nuts. I’ve put myself out in the sphere in ways that I never would in real life. I write what others are afraid to. I bleed. Oh and Jesus and the F word walk hand in hand in my sparkly world too. If I had to do it again, would I be anonymous? I don’t think so. This liberation, this life, this blog, this passion has changed my life for the better. And my dear, I wouldn’t want it any other way.

    • You know, when I was first reading, I fond myself saying “really, ‘tirelessly’?” =)

      You’re also correct about the experience bettering us. It sounds silly, but I will never be the same after this experience, because for the first time in some 43 years, I’m finally starting to figure out just who it is I am

      • Ain’t it great? Figuring out who we are? I never thought I would, but I’m finally getting comfortable in my own skin. No matter that it’s sagging and aging. I’m finally comfortable.

  10. i think i was supposed to be a woman. dont get me wrong, I love my wife and i like the hetereo way, but the way I think, the way I’m wired, I’m very chick-like. I’ve thought about it too. I would never follow Tasha’s advice and write under a female pseudonym because that’s intellectially dishonest. but you know, it’s interesting to talk about.

    thanks for broaching it, brother…or sister

    • You and me both, on the chick-like tip.

      And I don’t know how dishonest it would be, based on the idea that the author wasn’t ever really put forth as being real, of course. I’m pretty sure it happens more often than we’d think in fact (if not in gender, then definitely in personality traits, etc.)

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