You’ve got a lot of fans David Johansen…

And you too, Tevye.

Remember how I recently spoke of finding a “better place?” Yeah, well I’m finally getting around to that. And one of the things I’ve always wanted to do with this blog was to create one of those “Search Term” posts – you know, like Charissa over at Old Enough For Fairy Tales does – a task I decided was finally due.

As the title implies, Mr. Johansen is the clear winner, scoring in the first with his name alone, and then again in conjunction with The New York Dolls, the movie “Scrooged” (two of you even searched specifically for my favorite line of his in this, “it’s a bone, you lucky dog!”) and his time as Buster Poindexter. Honestly, I don’t feel as if I’ve dedicated that many posts to him, but he is by far the one leading the most people to drink from my muddy word pond.

It should be noted, Jesus comes in at the second and third slots (a lot of you seem to be interested in seeing Him hug people), but it’s Tevye and his “Fiddler On The Roof” that are far more searched for when compiling all the different terms used (five of you went so far as to seek out the logo specifically). And again, I believe I only ever did one post referencing this show. I wonder – in general – do New York Dolls fans also share an affinity for Broadway shows about Jews in Czarist Russia?

Who knows? I do know however, that a lot of people found me while searching about for National Heavy Metal Day (11/11/11). I’m sorry I only made one post about that as well. Hope I didn’t disappoint you. And I can also guess that quite a few of you have probably “borrowed” some my work on same-sex marriage based on some of the very – ummm, let’s say “specific” – searches done on this subject.

Now, while those terms may the ones that saw the most overall action, here’s a brief rundown of some of the odder ones I also found while strolling through the list:

“cool english words.” Hope they found some here – like when I said “douchery,” or “dumbassery.”

“godzilla dance party.” Every Tuesday.

“sexy robot” and “robots doing makeup.” Hey, I’m sure we’ve all searched at least once.

“spooning spoons.” Ummm, cottage industry in the making?

“bert kaempfert – christmas wonderland +cover.” Now that I KNOW the 4 searchers were able to obtain here! Why they were searching for this specifically, I suppose, is a whole different story.

“pooter bunny.” I have no idea, but 2 people thought to look for it here.

“andrew lloyd weber andrew lloyd weber andrew lloyd weber andrew lloyd weber andrew lloyd weber.” Who was that, again?

“i’m a whovian.” We all are. It’s just that some poor suckers don’t realize it yet.

“man spooning naked women.” Without the “with,” I’m not even sure what this involves but – I’ll say it so that you don’t have to – at least they’re not forking.

“baby rooms with dark wood cribs.” None here.

“sign that makes someone feel less ugly.” I hope they found it. If not, here it is again:

“what key did bobby darin sing as long as i’m singing in?” Not a clue.

“old people stoned.” Gotta admit, it would be pretty funny, but I’ve never actively searched for it.

“sex thunks.” Educated!

“clondom.” Wait – a word I made up for a school project was actually thunked up by someone else and searched for?

“invisible like casper.” I don’t know what about this brought them to me, but it does sound like a cool name for a rock band.

And speaking of cool band names, really? “Death donut?”

“i’m gay and i love bobby darin.” Is there a connection? Were they hoping to find a support group?

“cs lewis singing.” to my knowledge, he was actually an author.

“aslongasimsinging.wordpress.com” Come on NOW! If you’ve made it that far, why didn’t you just plug it into the address bar instead of searching?

“lol, that’s all i can say! sap for you and me:-).” I have no idea, but as God is my witness, this is the ONLY time you’ll ever see the dreaded “lol” appear on my blog. omg.

“famous male singers with bad teeth.” It was probably for a school paper or a craft project.

“Godzilla blanket.” One with him on it, or one for him to use?

And my personal favorite, although I don’t know why other than it makes me laugh every time I read it, “judas priest burp.”

Overall, this was a fun exercise, but one that I can’t imagine I’ll do too often. While I stuck to the odd ones here, there were some others that were pretty darned creepy. And others that – well, all I can say about them is that at a certain point kids, you’ll have to just buckle down and write your own damned papers, as I refuse to author your “same sex marriage and negative externalities essay” for you – know what I mean?

And hey, before I go, to the three of you who searched for “song – old fifties song about lost in the jungle,” it’s actually called “Stranded In The Jungle,” originally performed by the Cadets.

Now here’s my biggest draw – Mr. David Johansen – singing it way back when…

Stranded in the jungle with an all night party

Johansen felt slighted. I know he did. He told me so.

Figuratively speaking of course.

He told me “yo t! You mean to tell me that you own all my shit from my New York Dolls days, AND you actually own BOTH Buster Poindexter discs from the eighties (had no idea about the other shit that I released in the early nineties, did ya?), and all I get is a mere nod and a ‘shut up! David Johansen was so too punk!’? Really? You mean to say that even tho’ two outta your three kids have spent hours with you, having dance parties around all my way cool remakes of old fifties shit like ‘Showdown’, ‘Bad Detective’ and ‘Stranded In The Jungle’, that’s the best you can give me? Just a ‘shut up! David Johansen was so too punk!’???? Hell, even Allmusic.com said that me n’ the boys helped to ‘create punk rock before there was a term for it.’ Never mind the fact that Morrissey is a huge fan. We’re talkin’ MORRISSEY here. And if that weren’t good enough, don’t you and C spend every damned Christmas, at least once running through the whole ‘Frankie angel’ schpeel I did in ‘Scrooged!’? Damn man, give me my due!”

OK David, here’s your due.

I loved the Dolls since the first time I heard them. “And when I say ‘love’, I mean LOVE, L.U.V.” But then after a while, I started to hate them. Well, not so much “hate” really. I just lost interest is all. However, this was only to be followed by my loving them again once more, and later on. The process then repeated itself. Several times. In fact, they are one of the few bands who has seen me hand over cash multiple times in exchange for their discs (I have a bad habit of, once I no longer like an act, donating their stuff to either a library or a Salvation Army. Slowly spreading the disease, one listener at a time). This latest round of purchases I’m keeping though. For one, it’s a damned expensive habit to indulge in, and for another, it’s becoming harder and harder to actually find their stuff on the shelves. This is true for even their last album, put out not too long ago by the new New York Dolls (I won’t post it here, but I highly recommend you seek out and give “Gotta Get Away From Tommy” a listen – a jolly romp, and one that the two outta the three particularly love to dance to).

And Buster Poindexter? He’s even harder to find. In fact, I found his second disc in a used bin at a local record shop. Truth be told, I believe I found his first album in a similar location. In fact, should you be interested in picking up some Poindexter, you may want to just start there. I’m not sure why this particular incarnation never really took off (especially given the never ending and inexplicable fame of “Hot, Hot, Hot” – another song I will NOT be including in this post), but I suppose that doesn’t really matter in the end. Johansen doesn’t seem the type to stick with any one thing for too long. And again, back to Allmusic.com, I was pleased to find there that it was this character of his that caught the eye of the “Scrooged” casting folks. The Ghost of Christmas Past wouldn’t have been worth the price of admission had not Johansen plunked on it’s elfin ears. Just try imagining anyone else yelping “it’s a BONE, you lucky dog!” with even half of the streetwise charm he muscled into the character.

Go ahead, try. I’ll wait.

Yes, I am also aware that he was in “Freejack.”

But so was Mick Jagger.

And Emilio Estevez.

Yep, Anthony Hopkins too.

Look, I suppose what I’m saying here is that everyone is capable of making mistakes. OK?

So there David. There’s your due. On a Friday no less, and in well under my usual one thousand plus words. I hope you’re happy, and I hope you’ll enjoy the two songs I eventually chose to end this with. Turns out, you’re almost as hard to find on Youtube as you are in the record shops. But I still love ya man…