Today I’m five. Certainly, this was not my intent.
No, no, five was about the last thing I wanted to be. First off, it’s an odd number, and odd numbers are bad luck. You know it’s true. Just look at me. Secondly, the fact that I’m five means that there are FOUR others ahead of me. Four complete strangers and, I’m quite certain, utter brutes who’ll get to gobble up all the best stuff before it’s even my turn.
I know, I know, “They most likely won’t be after what you’re getting dear, and besides, I’m sure they’ve plenty in stock,” but we both know that that’s a whole lot of phooey. Of course they’ll want exactly what I want, and because they’re first, they’ll take ALL of it right out from underneath my nose, before I even get called upon, confound it!
Today I’m five. Tomorrow I’ll need to get here earlier.