Drowning

Everyday now I am drowning.

From the instant I wake from restless sleep,

Till the moment I surrender to restless sleep.

The air has become pinguid poison, and

Everyday now I am drowning.

•••

Picture11-1

My entry for this week’s Trifecta Writing Challenge.

33 words about a Love Gone Wrong. 

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47 thoughts on “Drowning

  1. Wow, painfully that is a feeling I now well. Your right when you say it will disperse eventually. You just have to ride it out and be productive on your quest to breathe :) Beautiful writing

    • Thank you Rebecca, but rest assured, “pinquid” discovered me in order to be used with this post – I had never heard it before, but knew it was perfect when it came knocking =)

  2. Reading this just rolled over me like beautifully swelling ocean waves. Oh, that drowning feeling; it’s wonderful when you are breathless from blissful love but suffocating and desperate feeling when you are miserable left by it. This was my favorite! (Had to look up “pinguid”.)

    • I like the way you brought to light that the feeling is very much the same, though welcome, at the beginning of the love story – thanks for that.

      And Yay – I love being favorite! No worries either, as I had to look up the word as well =)

  3. The repetition of ‘drowning’ combined with the repetition of ‘restless sleep’ gives this a very futile vibe….like there is nothing in between that matters, which is exactly what it feels like when one is drowning in heartbreak. Great post!

    • Much thanks C.C. – as with so many of the other comments, I’m glad to see how you the reader builds upon the original seed of the thought. I appreciate that =)

  4. “pinguid poisoning”…yikes! I had to look that up, but it’s great. Very descriptive! And to use repetition so effectively within only 33 words…love that. Thanks for checking out my “petit blog” too :-)

  5. The meter and repetition give this such a lilting and comforting feel in contrast to the message. I had to look up pinguid – thanks for the new word – and it’s a sounds a lot prettier than what it describes. I keep reading and re-reading and get something new each time.

  6. I had the same thought as Gina. It sucks that the same person who takes our breath away in the beginning has the power to knock the air out of us when things go sour. You have conveyed that crippling feeling of loss so incredibly well here. This is beautiful and heartbreaking in its honesty. Amazing work!

  7. I can relate to the feeling of drowning. I can also relate to the feeling of trying to catch my breath long enough to fall into a restless sleep and then wake up from a restless sleep, tired, and back to drowning again. This is absolutely beautiful and I love how you repeated lines. That repetition gave this piece such a wonderful feel.

    • Thank you, but I sorta cheated Momo in that not to long ago I sorta lived it. Thank God the feeling only lasts until you realize that you’re not so much drowning, as you are simply breathing new and purer air.

  8. “The air has become pinguid poison, and
    Everyday now I am drowning.”
    Very lovely, and dark. Restless sleep into restless wakefulness – you’ve really painted a clear poetic vision. Well done.

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