Ever-present.
No matter should I attempt to run from, too, or through – He stands, belligerent.
Pervasive, judgmental… longing for me to fail. Needing me to.
He is what I fear.
He is me.
Sorry to be back so soon, raining again on your Trifecta Writing Challenge parade, but this prompt – wherein we get to slap down 33 words about that which scares us most – (for me at least) was a clear no-brainer. I hope you enjoyed this little glimpse into a “me” that is in the process of withering, as my new horizon slowly chases all his shadows away.
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I like it!
And I love that!
I like what you said and also in your comment section! Attention getter!
Thank you so much – I really appreciate that ^.^
I love how you made what you fear yourself. That is just brilliant!
How I wish it was more fictional than non – thank you =)
Our own worst enemy.
As always, got it in one, Grrrl!
So often that’s how it goes, we defeat ourselves before we start. Great 33!
Thank you Renee! No more defeat, no more fear.
The reasons I adore you, your words shine through here…most of my life I have been my worst nightmare…I am free now…I hope you are also T….you are a gift to this world…and close to my heart.
Because it’s you, and because you’ve always been such a kind soul, I will go here:
I am doing better, Love. Thank you. After spending years chasing after those who don’t get me, or get me for only a spell, I have been forced to look through doors that they themselves have opened for me. And in so doing, I have found that I was already surrounded by love. From people who DID get me. People who DO want to do so, for the long run. And when I saw these people believing in me for no other reason than they see it as true and natural thing to do, I realized – what sort of ass would I be, to still listen to those who say otherwise?
I am free now as well, Love. And it feels good.
tears in my eyes….we all deserve love and happiness…sometimes I think those who are so judgemental must have been severely deprived ….but no one deserves harsh judgement…especially those as special as yourself…
I was so happy to read this comment.
=)
I like to see ya smile
Hey Troy, I’m Seablackwithink’s fiance. I love this post. People can simultaneously be their own best friend and worst enemy. When I was deep into my addiction I actually embraced being my own worst enemy. I reveled in it. Then once I reconnected with Seablack she helped me focus on the positive. She’s the best person I’ve ever met and with the great quality and quantity of love we give one another it is far easier to see the beauty of life even when things aren’t ideal. Great job buddy!
I know you are, Meat Beat, and what I see you two have gives me hope =)
I also know what you meant about “reveling” – enjoying being the “victim,” in the hopes of garnering some sort of pity.
I relate to this so much. It’s such a vicious cycle, too. Self doubt, followed by self sabotage, just in case I was wrong about the self doubt. Great 33 words this one! Well done!
Thank you so much Valerie! You’re right, and unfortunately, the only way to stop the cycle is to. Stop. The. Cycle. Right?
=)
This is absolutely filled with so much truth. Becoming our own worst nightmare, or worst enemy is a horrifying feeling. To realize we have the power over our mistakes and triumphs is one of the most magical moments ever. This is so wonderful.
So true Donetta – so true! Thank you for turning my half-empty glass half-full!
I have to think about how I feel about this one. I think that I have to talk to myself first, before I decide if any of the talk is a talk that is a sharing…I typed, so that you know, that I am present.
And thank you for being so Elisa – I appreciate that, and I’ll look forward to hearing back from you after your self-conversation.
I want kisses this morning!!!
Sending as I type… ^.^ >.< ^.^
I identify and write about this a lot.
The mirror is horror, somedays.
Truth.
Needing me to fail….needing to dissect me…
is some shadow of all those who stopped me from being me and have now imprinted on myself…I have become those voices…my own voice I have buried …
If buried, then best get a shovel m’dear – we need to hear YOUR voice.
And, “needing to dissect me,” how I wish I had thought of that line!
My self-critic is unforgiving, too. Paralyzing at times. Nicely done :)
Thank you Janna, and keep forgiving =)
Troy, nice to meet you and to read both your Trifecta entries. So pleased you’ve joined in the challenges – it’s a supportive writing atmosphere and community.
Writing about fear of self can go horribly wrong and maudlin, but your excellent, strong word choices never allowed that. Yours is a wonderful entry with a lovely flow and reveal. Well done! I look forward to reading more and more of your writing!
Wow, Jo-Anne. Thank you so much for that. I am honored you felt that way.
Ah, the man in the mirror. Kind of follows you everywhere, doesn’t he? Wonderful write, thanks for sharing. Don’t forget to come back and vote!
That he does. As such, it’s best to be content with who you see, right?
Thank you =)
Ooo excellent!
Thank you so much =)
That sounds like a lifetime of conditioned responses wrapped up in 33 words. Onwards and upwards… :)
Sandra, spot-on as usual – from cradle all the way to honeymoon suite.
But no longer is right as well, On and Up is the only direction I’m allowing m’self now.
This is so good! And so true for many of us. What a great take on the prompt!
Thank you so much Suzanne. I’m glad to know I’m in such good company, and I’m glad you liked this =)
Great use of the prompt.
Much thanks Melanie =)
Excellent!
Thanks Ted!
I know that guy! Except he’s a girl. And she’s always on my case.
Great post!
We need to shed these dead weights, don’t we? Hope one day that you and I will both do just that, dear =)
Oh boy!! Now that is terrifying. Excellent take! :D
Thank you Linda! Hope I didn’t scare the funny outta ya – I look forward to reading it so =)
Oh Troy. Thank you for that. How nice! :D
Good one! I can relate.
Thank you, and I hope you can also relate to moving on =)
it’s true. We are our own worst enemies, especially us writers. We think everything we write is rubbish, yet we have to share it anyway, LOL. I really like this.
Thank you so much SAM! You know, I did have one who used to say that what I wrote “were only words,” but its the one thing that I’ve always *known* that I can do well. And other than her, I’ve been pretty blessed with people who seem to agree with me on that (and your writing is wonderful as well) =)
the voices in our heads, the doubts in our hearts about ourselves. Yes, I know we are all afraid of that, afraid that what we think of ourselves could be true.
in your case, it’s not.
Ouch that hit home.. and being alone with that guy has to be the scariest thing in the world… Great take.
This is why I love you. And want to smack you in that cute bald head of yours. You’ve no idea your worth. You’ve no idea the love you radiate. You’ve no idea the lives you change with your words. A terrific story from a terrific brother.
Love, Renee