Listen. I have to tell you that this was a very hard one to write, and it ultimately took me three attempts and a missed due date, in order to record something “post-able” to the general public.
The third volley is the one shown below, but you can find both the first and the second attempts right here.
A caveat: While I feel very confident about the readability of these earlier efforts, they could be taken much more as personal than mere fiction. And, since there are those who would do ill with these words, had they the access, I do have this other post password protected. Simply email me (firstname.lastname@example.org) with your blog address in the subject line however, and I’ll be glad to get you in. Thanks, and I hope you enjoy all three…
From the other side of the mirror, he turned away. Expunging any tears remaining, he donned his wings just prior to taking Flight.
A flight delayed because he’d felt somehow obligated to “go down with the ship,” dismissing the idea only when he realized, the damned thing had no reason to sink in the first. No, it was being actively drowned, through an angered force of will emanating from the opposing side of said-same mirror.
Looking once more at the demise being created there, he heard the vast horizon of Rebirth once again calling to him, and finally he flew.
This has been yet another 100 Word Song and Friday Fictioneers mash-up, and the song was chosen by Deana: “Mirrors,” by my future husband, Justin Timberlake.
PS: Best of luck to all my Bloggin’ Tribe having fun at BlogHer ’13! I hope to see you all at next years shindig, so save me a shrimp or two, would ya?
Ive had the same problem.
At least you kept trying where i did not.
Very good …admirable.
Thank you dear, I’m a sucker for trying. Hoping that it will lead to being a sucker for succeeding at some point =)
I enjoyed this version. I find it admirable and enduring that you made 3 attempts. This one has powerful sentences.
I’m so glad you enjoyed Donetta – that means a lot =)
Only read this version, but it looks good. Really good.
Thank you Sonia!
from ‘down with the ship’ to rebirth. That’s quite a trip in a few words. I love the promise of new beginnings.
Odd, how it sometimes happens that way, right?
Wow, a lot of complexity in this short piece. You told the story well and I can get a sense of what situation in life it might “reflect.”
And thank you, though complexity could almost be my middle name. You know, had my parents chosen it over Patrick. =)
Troy, you gave my brain cells a workout this morning although I admit I went to find the lyrics rather than watching the video. Not a big music video fan. :-)
Honestly Janet, I normally try to find the “non-videoed” version of songs I post, but I always make the exception with 100 Word Song, and use the same link as Leeroy for that.
I’m glad I could provide some cardio for your grey cells, and thank you for coming over =)
My first thought was of Icarus… I hope I spelled that correctly. But I also thought of just the regular revolution of the horizon mirrored in whatever water there was to view it from.
Thanks for visiting the Vamp piece. Pure fiction that.
I suppose there’s an element of him (not daring to spell incorrectly!) in this, but I’m hopeful that my character won’t suffer the same fate as he.
I’m pretty sure not, as these wings feel much more real than wax =)
I’m glad he decided not to go down with the ship. Ron
You and me both, Ron! You and me both!
I love the visual (flight, flying) you gave with the word “rebirth” Nice job…I guess 3rd time the charm!
Thanks so much Lotta, and please, let me know if you’d like to critique charms 1 and 2… =)
I would troy, do you have me email address? I think you do
I do, and I did! Send you a note, that is =]
You put words to ‘fight or flight’ feeling….powerfully evoked.
Thanks much, Erin!
I’m a bit speechless. A bit of a thump this one. I have this friend – she’s, well … you know, and not taking my calls.
So, a thump for a thump?
Sorry to hear about your friend, and I look forward to hearing your thoughts on attempts 1 & 2…!
I commented on the page where the other two versions of this is posted. I now understand the story a bit better. The demise of a relationship and not of a person. And the friend I mentioned answered a call. She’s fine now. Whew!
Thank God! And thanks for the update as well =]
An evocative piece. Loved the hopeful ending. As for 3 attempts….never do I post a first draft. Usually what I post is the fourth or fifth draft. But it’s the writing process that I find exhilarating.
Thank you Rochelle!
And draft-wise, we’re in very similar boats usually (it IS just a mere 100 words, right?) But this time, I actually came up with three wholly different stories, all revolving around the same mirror and situation. If the other 2 had been a little less true (and painful as a result), I would’ve posted all three in tandem, I think.
I understand about painful truth. Some of mine have been downright reality, thinly veiled as fiction.
I often feel bad, as some of my most well-received pieces are just that. I feel as if I’m not so much a writer, as a reporter at times… =)
On the flip side of that, it can be cathartic to write them and people see and relate to the honesty
Very true, m’dear!
As another commenter mentioned, this is a complex piece — and I admit that I read it a few times to get my sleepy brain going. I like how your story creates a spiritual feeling, of taking flight and rebirth after a demise. Really good stuff here.
Much thanks Zookie, and sorry for any undue mental strain =) I really think that this piece is missing the other two, for a full(er) understanding of the circumstances. I’m glad you liked my efforts!
Three attempts? You’re doing pretty good, I’d say. Mine usually run in the five-to-seven category.
Much thanks! And as I mentioned to Rochelle, it seems odd that there’s so much work that goes into a mere 100(ish) words, right? Still, I look forward to it each and every week!
I think it works beautifully although I’m not quite sure in which direction he decided to fly. It doesn’t matter for the effectiveness of the piece. And …. not a spec of ABBA!
I think he decided upon the direction that would safely lead him one day to his new Home. The one he was being called to all along. One that only occasionally played ABBA!
Love me some JT, thanks for including it. Nice story as well.
Thank you =]
great story. it takes great courage to write about something so real..that, in itself, is admirable. would be happy to read the first two drafts :)
Thank you kz! Check your inbox dear, and I’ll look forward to your feedback =]
I also like the hopeful ending.
So much of life is choice and transformation, and this is (I feel) exactly what you illustrated. :)
Much thanks Joanna =) And yes, even when we don’t have a choice (things being thrown at/done to us), we still do (in how we react to same), right?
Troy, there is a lifetime of story contained in that 2nd paragraph. I think a lot of people will be able to relate with it for different reasons. Life is all about dodging the punches (sometimes steeling for them), adapting when things get deep and murky and picking up the pieces and moving forward. Sometimes the pieces are pretty damn small, but forward is the only direction because there is no back.
Thank you dear friend – I appreciate that, and I’m glad we’re both going the same way =)
Rebirth is quite simply the word that makes this very good piece, excellent.
when Rebirth calls, you must answer.
And it’s always calling, m’dear… =)
I appreciate the dedication to getting it right,,,,lol
Really like those last two lines and I’m glad I’m not the only music snobbish dude who digs JT.
Thanks Lance – and I promise to get my next entry in on time =)
no rules…I always keep the link open. new song Wednesday morning…thank you for continuing to play with me/us.