Subculture

So, what sort of unadulterated douche does it take to not play Friday Fictioneers in “like, forever,” only to return, and then not plunk down the maximum 100 word allotment, but rather (2) 100 word installments instead?

We’ll just have to wait and see.

Here is this week’s 2-parter (if you’re really militant about the word count, just shut up and read the first part only, already!)

I hope you enjoy, I hope you play along, and I hope you get back to me with how you feel I can improve!

And to those of you who read along regularly, #1 – thanks!, and #2 – I apologize for having this week, two “dialogue-only” posts, back-to back!

Copyright -John Nixon

Copyright -John Nixon

Now, where did I place it?

Sir, it’s…

Just a moment Geoffrey, I’m attempting to locate my rapt-scallion key!

“Rapt-scallion,” sir?

Oh my, Geoffrey, you’re so pedestrian, really. Dear boy, I couldn’t very well say God-damned-able, now could I? Certainly not in front of a mere child!

Sir, I’m not a chi…

Shush now lad, help me search!

But sir, it’s directly behind you.

Behind?

Yes sir, protruding from your back, actually.

By Jove! Right you are m’boy, right you ARE! Now, why do you suppose…

Sir. Please not again… We’re toys sir.

The devil you say!

The devil, I don’t.

••

We are toys. Just like we were yesterday sir.

My dear boy, I do believe your lid is positively flipped.

Sir, you have a KEY sticking OUT of your BACK!

Well… isn’t that just a very British thing to do?

No sir. It’s a very wind-up toy thing to do.

Rapt-scallion!

Sir…?

Oh, fine. GodDAMNed!

I’m terribly sorry sir.

No need m’boy, no need! So, I suppose I’ll wind down then?

Yes sir.

And I’ll have forgotten I was a toy next go-round as well?

I pray not, sir. This conversation IS becoming a tad bit monotonous.

•••

Bloggers note:

Today’s tune is more than just a musical accessory to a toy trapped within it’s own short-term memory. Today’s tune, TMI be damned, could have almost have been my theme song, at quite a number of points throughout my life. In short, today’s tune is important…

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82 thoughts on “Subculture

  1. You write dialogue well; avoid apologizing for it and it will only get better. I really liked this piece. I might have to sneak a few moments away from everything else I am doing to participate this week!

      • Requirements are keeping me chained for now. Soon I will be done with the chores and make time for playing along. You are officially the first person to ever call me “Mum” hmmmm… I’m not sure how I feel about that, but I suppose it is in my nature to mom people I like. I’ll just consider it a good thing and mosey on to bed because I am tired. Chores, gotta love em!

  2. I enjoyed it. And I’m impressed you’re one of the few Fictioneers to manage to incorporate the key. (I failed myself, and I knew it was there!)

    The British English is pretty good, a little old-fashioned upper-class stagey, but it suits the piece. One thing – in the last line ‘a tad’ is an Americanism, no?

    • Thank you, and good catch!

      The “tad” (and the general smartassery) was included to (hopefully) seal the deal that Geoffrey (not intentionally named after the Toy R Us mascot, come to think of it) was of a U.S. manufacture, in lieu of British.

  3. Oh man, I didn’t even count how many words I wrote! A clockwork toy in the body of a man, oh – er, a man in the body of a clockwork toy in the body of a piano????! Hee hee. Enjoyed your piece of Flash!

    • Much thanks!

      I really did try for 100, but by the 125-30 mark, decided to just do (2) back to back =) Hope Rochelle doesn’t spank me for the transgression…

      • I’m not a stickler for the rules – anything that encourages creativity is fine by me! Love the photo prompts – great idea! I like your two-episode flashes too! :)

        • Thanks again, but next time I will try much harder to stick to the limit – readers time is precious, you know, and there are so many Fictioneers as it is =)

          • Ahh – so true – it does make short and sweet reading. It’s been fun discovering such a big bunch of fictioneers! Nice meeting you – and thanks for the conversation! :)

  4. ha, I totally loved this one! it gave me a Pratchett moment with the whole rapt-scallion hullaballoo (much like my favorite Discworld-ism where Fred Colon tells a co-worker that they are currently at an imp-arse ;) I heard the whole thing, too, like you were talking to me instead of me reading it and that is a fantastic compliment for dialogue. In case you were wondering.

    • I’m getting pretty danged tired of your comments, you!

      =)

      And did you just drop a Pratchett on me? I am really, seriously, and no-lies honored. No lies, thank you, 35!

  5. I’m hoping that first question of yours is rhetorical! :-) I like rapt-scallion. I like mine wrapped in prosciutto (or almost anything wrapped in prosciutto), but I digress. I did listen to the song, too. Do I get extra credit?

    janet

    • Haha – nice! I had more of a Terry Thomas thing going on in my head, but me and my three children being staunch Whovians, I’m totally down with your call as well!

  6. Geoffrey is too precocious. He should have said “a very windy uppy thing to do”. Otherwise right on target. Douche meter at maximum.

  7. Very funny old fashioned upper class English dialogue! One thing, as a Brit, the phrase ‘Oh my Geoffrey’ isn’t quite right, ‘my dear Geoffrey’ sounds better to my ears. But I love the short term memory idea, it’s really clever, because what does happen to a toy when the key winds down? Your idea makes perfect sense. Loved it:-)

  8. Thoroughly enjoyed this. Toys, eh! Shouldn’t be left lying around like that. A d the foul language. Not in the nursery, pulleeeeze. I wrestled with the key shadow for a while but, unlike you, was left with no creative thought. Great read and who’s really counting.

  9. Great choice of words and I love how you used dialogue. Glad you went rebel with the word count.

    sorry I’m behind on commenting

    • If you didn’t mean that on purpose, ima gonna use it from now on anyway – “Troy Story…” Kinda like the sound of that =)

      So glad you enjoyed this one Russell!

  10. Dear Troy,

    I suppose I can let the word count violation slide this time. Next time I’ll have to give you a ticket. In any case, the second part enhanced the first. Sort of Toy Story meets 50 First Dates. I like it…and the song as well.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  11. I do so love it when inadimate objects take on a life of their own. Toys, well anything really. Way back when (many moons ago) did had items in a house come to life to trip up a nasty Uncle. Way before computers….so while I know I have it somewhere…maybe if I just listen long and hard enough the pages will call longingly to me…

    Thanks for your visit.

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