302 Words Plus A Sentence

After a long stretch, I’m finally jumping back in to bed with the kids of Master Class 2013 (No! Not like that…!), and I hope that Professor SAM is pleased enough to give me at least a passing grade for this long-overdue assignment…

storch-badge

I woke up in bed with a man and a cat. Well, I suppose I could’ve also said “pussy,” but that would’ve given an entirely different spin to the story, you know? Besides, the cat was far too cool to be considered anything less, and the pussy wasn’t really all that bad as to warrant an insult.

What? Yeah, man, cat – both were men – one pretty generic, the other pretty cool. What I was doing in bed with them, was what I do in bed with all of them. I was making a living. A damned good one at that. Usually it’s strictly “one per,” but these two had some sorta weird “let’s fight over the boy” thing going on, and were willing to pay a helluva lot more for the “pleasure.” They’re all like that though, cattle. Show them less than a minute of absolute bliss, and they’ll come running back every time, cash in hand.

True, I don’t need the money. That’s not why I do it. And true, they won’t actually go to hell just for “bumping their bits” against me, but they think that they will. And that, my friends is all that’s needed. The sin isn’t breaking some predetermined law given down from “On High.” The sin is breaking the law as you see it, breaking the promise that you feel should be honored, but then don’t.

Big Daddy God is not cool with that. Trust me.

So these stupid fucks give me all their money, get their rocks off, and then condemn themselves to hell to boot! Pretty freaking sweet deal, if you ask me. Right?

What? No, none of them ever have figured out what I am. First off, they’re thinking with the wrong head when they’re with me. And quite honestly, I like to leave the horns at home when I go to work, anyway.

•••

This week’s prompt is from Robert Heinlein’s “To Sail Beyond the Sunset,” and the song is – well – just what popped into my head as I wrote this, I suppose. Go figure.

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22 thoughts on “302 Words Plus A Sentence

    • =) Thanks SAM! This one literally fell right out of my head once I realized that the “pussy” and the cat didn’t have to be the same person. I’m glad you liked it =)

  1. that was unbelievably fun!
    Big Daddy God is not cool with that…
    Jeez t, that’s a bumper sticker.

    “Besides I like to leave the horns at home”…best line this week.
    (did you have as much fun writing this as I had reading it? LOL)

  2. The sin is breaking the law as you see it – well said – knowing right from wrong. This was fun. I didn’t see the end coming. I like it a lot. Nicely written. I love Anita O’Day – and music from that era. I have a friend who does a weekly radio show featuring bands from the 20’s through the 40’s. I’ve learned how to appreciate it listening to his show. I wrote a post about it. But, enough about me – as I said – I enjoyed this!

    • Much thanks Steph! And please. let me know what station your friend is on so I can listen in. Music to me is like the ocean – it’s all good, you just need to find the post that suits your preferred temperature best =)

  3. I love that explanation of what sends you to hell – not things that piss off God, but things that you think would piss him off. funny story, great last line

  4. You. Are. So. Awesome. I was kinda smile/laughing through the whole thing because I love the way you turn a phrase, but it was a full out bawdy BAHAHAHA at the end. Well played, indeed!

    • I really appreciate when you say things like this Shannon, especially considering that you are far more Gifted (see what I just did there?) than I!

  5. Hmm well, I was gonna comment on “Big Daddy God” but someone else already did. I was gonna comment on “sin as you see it” but someone else already did. *sigh* I gotta start doing my blog reading earlier. LOL

    Well, played t. I enjoy reading your stuff. It always has just enough testosterone in it to remind me there are other male bloggers out there.

    • Hahahaha! “Just enough,” Eric?

      I believe that is about the manliest thing anyone has ever said about me =)

      And hey, thanks digging my stuff, man – it means a lot!

  6. Pingback: Master Class 2013: Cat in Hiding | My Write Side

  7. What great writing – really really wonderful writing. Beautiful!

    (yesssss, you could have said ‘pussy’ :) )

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