Today’s Friday Fictioneer photo prompt was difficult for me to write for. Some might say that, in the final analysis, I didn’t.
copyright-David Stewart
Searching deep within the lines taut across his fear-filled face, I realized that the story had already been told.
It’s a story that no human should ever have to endure, though so many hundreds of thousands have. A tale of fear, welling up in your throat forcefully as you try desperately – and in vain – to outrun a Death that is larger, warmer, and oh so more quick than you will ever be; a Death that flagrantly belches itself out across the land.
Weeping gently, I placed my pen aside the unused sheet of paper. There would be no story today.
•••
Dear Singing,
An intense, somewhat grim and well written song this week. Loved the last line.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you Rochelle, I’m glad it came across as I had intended. And can I say, I love the way you call my entries “songs” – it makes perfect sense given my bloggie’s title, and it’s a concept I never once thought to use on my own =]
yeah, i like that last line, too.
(sorry i haven’t been here much, too many things. grrrr.)
No need to apologize – I know where to find you should I need you =)
OK, I’ll make it three for the last line, or the last two. Trying to outrun death is a terrible image but I could see it in this prompt once you wrote about it.
(BTW, “in vain”, rather than “in vein.”) :-)
janet
Thanks Janet, and thanks for the catch!
This is beautiful.
=]
Dear ALAIAS,
Four for the last line, at least, but I also enjoyed your entire non-story. It was a story, no matter what you try to tell us, and a well written one, too.
C. Hase
There’s no shame in being number four =) Much thanks C. Hase!
Out running death, or reaching for life? Hmmmm… ;-)
Good call k~, and I wonder, at times like those, would you even know?
If you were to make it through, it would be imperative. The only thing that consistently keeps us alive is the desire to be so. What if this really is the dream t?
k~, I can not tell you how many times I have asked myself this very question. Still, the answer eludes me.
Mayhaps it is supposed to for now :-)
sufficiently dark, like a dank wine cellar, where the chill comes quickly to the bones. delicious.
Wow. Thank you very much Kath!
Your entry spoke for me, much more eloquently. I get nothing out of artwork or pictures like these. No offence to the photographer, but I am into realism and not what I would call impressionism perhaps. I look at paintings of paint thrown on canvas and think WTF. I saw nothing in this picture therefore no entry this week from me. None last week either as nothing came to mind for the airplanes. Some weeks I just have no inspiration. I guess I am saying, I am no good with interpretation. I need it spelled out in black and white, no gray.
I agree with you – the photo prompts have proven hardest for me! In fact, had I not dug around until I found the “A19,” I most likely wouldn’t have dropped in last week either. This week was a little bit easier, but again it took truly looking into the mans face before i could find my way. I’m just always afraid that my post will end up as a mere description of what I see, you know?
this was very dark and sad..very interesting though..good writing
Thank you very much, I really appreciate that =]
I love how you pull me into your stories. Really good writing.
I’m honored you feel that way Deana – thanks!
a piece that draws this reader in, embraces, then comes full circle. ” a Death that flagrantly belches itself out across the land.” –a favorite line.
I’m glad the full circle came through – thank you!
While your pen gently weeps … not your guitar in this case. I’m summoning up images of George and Bobby Darin, not too shabby! Thanks.
I am honored to be in such company as they Perry – thanks!
I liked all the lines but that last one is killer. I like how Death is capitalized, personified, and antagonized. Good piece.
Thanks Lance! And death is a person, isn’t it? I mean, at times I have hated him like a bully, and at others, welcomed him as an old, long awaited friend.
maybe that’s why I liked this so much. Death has been in my life so many times.
First of all the story within the story is excellent. And of course the final lines are just excellent.
Thank you Björn, I’m glad you liked the idea and the read!
A very clever, powerful story (with a beginning, middle and an end as per the instructions) – beautifully crafted. Really really enjoyed this.
I’m all about playing by the rules… much thanks =)
well done. in this line: “and in vain – to outrun a Death that is larger, warmer, and oh so more quick than…” instead of “and in vain” consider just “vainly.” and instead of “more quick,” why not “quicker”?
Thanks Rich! I did think of these, but felt in the final analysis that they ruined the overall tone of the piece. As I mentioned to Abraham, I was trying to lay out overall havoc and fear, through the use of clunky and/or disjointed phrases not normally experienced.
gotcha. thanks.
You paint a scary picture. Your use of the word ‘warmer’ actually makes it an unsettling word. And I like the ‘belches itself’ too
Thank you Abraham! I tried to use words and/or alignments a bit off kilter, in order to keep the “ground unsettled” for the reader, so to speak. I’m glad it worked.