Heathers!

It’s sort of a shame that it’s taken me so long to write about this. You see, I have a dirty little secret. A fantastically gorgeous and fierce dirty little secret. I’m addicted to “RuPaul’s Drag Race”. And “Drag U.” And, I would imagine, any other show that eventually decides to be created under the RuPaul moniker as well.

click for Drag Race’s facebook page

I’m not alone in my fantastically gorgeous and fierce dirty little secret either. No, in fact, some friends and I created a secret group on facebook to celebrate our addiction. Our group’s name? Why “Heathers,” of course. Now, I’m not going to explain the significance of this name, as I would first have to go into detail about one of the finest movies Christian Slater and the 80’s ever gave us, and I would then have to delve deeply into Drag Race’s third season to make you understand. It’s a lot to go through just to explain a fantastically gorgeous and fierce secret group’s name, and I’ve no patience for the task. So if you want to know why we called ourselves that, you’ll just have to do the legwork yourself.

Other than the name, the membership, and the dirty little secret, our group is otherwise pretty nondescript. There are both men and women, both gay and straight. We’re stretched all across the continental U.S., and (at least one) who lives overseas. Strange word, “overseas.” I much prefer “abroad,” but I didn’t want you to think I was making a drag pun by using it. We all have work-a-day normal lives and to my knowledge, none of us has any sort of super human powers (one member does have a sock fetish, but I don’t think that counts). In short, we’re just an average bunch of folk who all know good taste when we see it. We were formed on the “you tell two friends, and so on, and so on…” type of mentality, and as a result, there’s many in the group who I’ve never actually met. Possibly some of us are even drag queens ourselves, but I am not. Not because I wouldn’t, but rather, because I really couldn’t (let’s just say that, dressing as Jackie O one Halloween, there were multiple people who felt the need to tell me just how lucky I was to have not have been born a woman).

As you can imagine, we like to get all catty about the shows, and – depending on how much vodka has been consumed – usually have a window of at least several “spoiler” hours set aside before we start dishing about whichever last episode aired. Some of us are quite vocal about the whole thing *raising my hand* and others are almost completely silent. We gab, not only about Drag Race, but other gay-related items as well. “Priscilla, Queen of the Desert,” other drag performers, “Project Runway,” (Saint) Tim Gunn, disco videos and George Takei (because it so IS OK, to be Takei!) have all been topics on our wall. In fact, when we first started our fantastically gorgeous and fierce secret group, the page’s picture was one of Bebe Neuwirth, looking all badass sexy, in a mustache of course.

In the world of secret facebook groups, I’m sure we’re only one of several devoted to “Drag Race” – heck, maybe even you’re a member of one as well? – and I’m sure that we’re not adding anything substantial to the human experience through our shared fandom. But then again, it can’t all be about adding to the human experience, now can it? Sometimes it just has to be about feeling gorgeous. Fierce even. I think – and I’m being very aware that by speaking for them all, I could very well be doing them all a great disservice – that we like RuPaul’s shows because the contestants live a sort of gorgeous that we, for whatever reason, can not. I mean, there’s also the entertainment value of each performer as well (what? Never been to a drag show? Well then, get out of your Puritanical panties and go see one. Now! Trust me when I say that you will NOT be disappointed). One of my favorites – Pandora Boxx – used to live up in my neck of the woods, but upon becoming famous, decided to “Go West” (again, if you don’t get the reference and/or don’t find yourself singing a certain Village People song right now, then I’ve hardly the time or inclination to explain it to you). She’s not a fave of mine because of her geographical kinship however, but rather because she’s funny, smart and sassy. True, she is also a “he,” but when she’s dolled up, she’s a cutey to boot. And oh, her wardrobe is to die for. I mean, assuming you like big hats with model trains running around them. I think it was trains. It could’ve been Matchbox cars though. Or maybe something else. Hey, cut me some slack. There’s a lot of “stuff” involved with drag outfits, OK? I can’t be expected to remember every detail.

Anywho. I’m sure I had a point to all this, but it has plumb run straight out of my head just now. Oh yes!  My point was simply this. RuPaul, her drag judges, drag professors and drag contestants all provide us with a little bit of gorgeous. A little bit of fierce. They all have the creativity, uniqueness, nerve and talent (again, look it up) to provide a bit of catty, yet positive, entertainment in an otherwise gloomy world. In short, in between a steady stream of drinking plain old tap water, they provide a cool refreshing sip of fruit punch. Those of us in Heathers appreciate that, and felt strongly enough to create a fantastically gorgeous and fierce secret group to celebrate it.  And it could be said, that by allowing us a little corner of our lives to not add anything substantial to the human experience, Ru’s girls are doing just that.

Can I get an “Amen” up in here?

•••

PS – the next episode of RuPaul’s Drag U is on TONIGHT! Find Logo TV on your local listings, and give it a watch. Assuming that you know good taste when you see it, you’ll be glad you did!

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8 thoughts on “Heathers!

  1. Fetish? I’m not sure my *enthusiasm* for socks is a super power. However, I do have super hearing, a very enhanced sense of smell, and the ability to pick things up with my toes. Any/all of those could be considered super powers thankyouverymuch.

  2. Thankyou, I’ve not heard of this show in my neck of the ‘abroad’ woods. Youtubbing* as we speak. Oh and I love a nice moustache. I especially love putting them places where they don’t belong – like on me (well they don’t yet belong on me anyway, that’s a pleasure Jamie has to look forward to in our twilight years, poor lad) and my son. I think it may graduate to a fetish shortly.

    PS – I love autocorrect. It’s constantly inventing new words for me. *Youtubbing – the art of bathing while watching Youtube. Who wouldn’t want to watch that annoying fucking orange in the bath?

    PPS – Apologies for the ramble. It’s late. I’ve had too much coffee. I can’t sleep. And wouldn’t you know, I just googled it and yes, it’s a full moon. I’m about to turn into the annoying fucking orange myself.

    • NEVER apologize for rambling! I love your rambling! Even when you (apparently?) make overbroad (new phrase – I coined it!) Youtubian (and again!) references I don’t recognize.

      Here’s hoping you continue to ramble, and don’t turn orange in the process, of course.

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